Love and Romance .....

 .... go together like peanut-butter & jelly, like horse & carriage!








Romance never goes away...we just stop being romantic. The secret to a long relationship....as discovered by yours truly:

1: give each other a chance to fall in-love again.
2: always court your partner even after marriage...never stop
3: no leaving each other without some loving cos you just never know
4: never stop wooing her
5: always make time for each other
6: dance together even if you've got 2 left feet
7: share a kiss each day... just becos
8: go on dates
9: work hard on your relationship/marriage & romance, you work hard at everything else...why not your relationship
10: leave your pride at the door
11: never take each other & your relationship for granted
12: never let the sun set on your anger/quarrels/fights

The best way to save a relationship is: forgiveness, remembering the good times & why you feel in-love with each other in the first place, by giving love a chance to reign again in your lives.





Whatever happened to ....


Chilvary

Once, a long long time ago or like my brother-in-law would say: 'when boys were men and women were won by men who deserve them' hahahaaaa!

Anyway, a very long time ago....ladies do you remember, when a man....
  • swept you off your feet
  • walked up to you, pick you hand careful in theirs and plants a kiss on the back of your hand,
  • would open  and hold the door for you....even pull your seat out and tuck you in when you're sat,
  • sent you a bauquet of flowers at work or home just because,
  • serenede you with sweet love ballads
  • took you out at night on intimate, well planned dates
  • stood when you walk into the room or are about to seat down
  • takes your hand, looks you deep in the eye and asks you to dance for no reason other than to be close to you, cocooned in your sweet perfume
  • held your hand or put their arms around you while strolling
  • offered you their jacket on a cold night
  • walked you home, unlocks your door, kissedsyou goodnight - leaving you breatheless on your doorstep,
My question is....whatever happened to chivalry???






Looking for Love, Relationship...

Then read our editor's picks of the week
"Steve Harvey, the host of his own syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years, yet when it comes to relationships, they can't figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve, it's because they're asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on must-know advice and questions such as how to spot a mama's boy and when to introduce the kids."



Unleash Your Irresistibility!
"Make Every Man Want You gives every woman the tools she needs to unlock her inner magnet."
--Kelly Ripa

Let's make one thing clear: this book is like no other dating book you've read. There are no rules, no list of things to do to land a husband in thirty days, and no reason to blame yourself if “he's just not that into you.” Please. Throw those books away.

Instead, let's focus on you--and how you can make yourself more appealing to others in almost every situation--whether you have a man or not. Think of it as a crash course in desirability, a life-changing lesson in loving yourself inside and out. Once you embrace your unique qualities and dissolve your bad relationship habits, you'll be amazed to find how irresistible you are to others! This girl-friendly guide reveals:
  • Five Truths Every Irresistible Woman Needs to Know: Live in the moment, Men do not want to be changed or improved
  • Seven Habits of Highly Unattractive Women:Boring in bed, Being needy
  • Eight Secrets of Attracting the Right Man for You: Get rid of your "perfect man" checklist, Have your own life

Do you feel like you are too nice?
Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:
  • Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
  • Why do men take nice girls for granted?
  • Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?
Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry—you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.


Why Men Marry Bitches is a sharp-witted manifesto that shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. Brings something altogether new to the relationship-advice shelves, and explains why being extra nice doesn't necessarily mean he'll be more devoted. The guide shares real-life 'no holds barred' interviews with men who answer to questions such as: Do men deliberately push women's motional buttons? Whether you are single, married, recently separated, or just fed up, this is the must-have guide that will show you how to exude confidence, win his heart, and get the love and respect you deserve.


A compulsive, informative and eye-opening read for women who want to know which men are most likely to commit to a relationship, what attributes in a partner they’re looking for or whether their current partner will ever propose. Based on 11 years of extensive market research

An utterly compelling read, this book contains illuminating facts and tips from the author's market research team of 300 experienced researchers who interviewed focus groups and engaged couples over a period of 11 years. Over 2,500 women and their finances, along with over 1000 single people, were interviewed. When their answers to questions were analysed, patterns arose that led to the successful strategies offered in this book.

Discover:
• How to increase your chances of marrying by up to 60%
• Ten warning signals that a man is never going to marry
• How to trigger a proposal
• The advantages and dangers of dating divorced or widowed men
• How to deal with a partner’s children

Findings included:
• After 18 months of a relationship, the chances that a man will propose drop by 50%
• Women who are slender have an easier time meeting men and better odds of getting married
• To be on the safe side, a woman should seriously start looking for a husband in her late 20s.
• The majority of male graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high commitment years and likely to propose
• After 38, the chances men will ever marry drop dramatically. At 42 or 43 many men become confirmed bachelors
• Single men in their late thirties or forties with divorced parents may believe in living together, because in their minds, once people marry, the romance ends
• Men rate sexual or social virtue when choosing a bride: someone they could take home to Mother or introduce to their boss
• For many, their future spouse is a status symbol; meeting their ideas of refinement, elegance and decency









 

My Dairy Entry 3 - Eavesdropping

 EAVES DROPPING!


PM
I got on the bus to go picj up my little boy from school. Decided I fancied sitting on the upper deck. There were five year 10 or year 11 girls from a secondary school near my area chatting and laughing.
Why they were on the bus at 2:30 pm when secondary schools around here close from 3:00 pm (besides it takes students about 5 minutes to start trinkling out of school much less be on the bus). Where they were headed....now that's another story. (you can check out ....for a twist on that)

Girl A:  He is so silly, he goes to me 'do you love me?'
Girl B:  What did you say?
Girl A:  I told him I love him, but he was like 'tell me you love me' and I was like 'I love you'
Girl C:  That is so silly.
Girl A:  He must 've been so shocked that I meant it, 'cos i do. I really love him'. Then he got off the phone.
Girl C:  That's so silly.
Girl B:  Why?
Girl A:  What'd silly?
Girl D:  I totally agree, it's silly.
Girl B:  How you gon' tell him you love him?
Girl A:  Cos I do, I really love him!
Girl E:  What do you know about love? I don't think at our age, love is real. he might make you feel a certain way when you are with him but that ain't love.

Girl A:  I don't care, I love him.
                                 ....then they launched into other conversations like:
Girl C:  You see that other boy, the other day..
Girl A:  What boy?
Girl C:  The one rapping at the back of the bus .....going like this (she shook her head feverishly for a few minutes)
Girl D:  The one next to that cute boy Sandra kept smiling at....
Girl C:  Yeah! He thinks he is so cool...
Girl B:  He's like Jay. Jay's like cute but then he is ugly
Girl C:  (Laughing hysterically) He can't be ugly and cute...it has to be one.
Girl B:  Well he is.....he is usually ugly but when he puts his PE clothes on - he is mad cute.
                               ........all laugh
Unfortunately, I had to get off the bus as I had reached my stop.

My question is....
Is Girl E right, are young children/young adults incapable of falling or being in-love?
Is love really unreal?

If that is the case,
what is this feeling of euphoria that envelopes you when you are around a certain person, what is this feeling of nostalgia that always seem to grab you when you're away from them and why does your heart always miss a beat and then immediately start to beat faster and faster when you remember something about or they 'd said - think - talk about or hear their voice and even worse when you hear you phone ring and think it was them?

I believe love is real and that like any grown up, young adults are capable of feeling intense love for another but I also believe that .......................the depth & strength of love we feel only comes with maturity, life experiences and how much we know, appreciate and accept about the person.

Ultimately, I believe that like fine wine,
                               love gets better with age and
                               falling in-love is intoxicating.
                                          Don't believe me...try it!

                                                                    © O. Okafor
                                                   *****

My Diary Entry 2 - We are not Obsolete



WE ARE NOT OBSOLETE!

We are not obsolete, take the benefit of our age and experience.... 


They say 'wisdom comes with age' (and that's no joke). Granted a lot of us checked our wisdom out the door a long time ago but still......majority of us still have something going on upstairs.  

AM
Saw a friend this morning and we got chatting. She was rushing to pick up her son so they can go to his university this morning. She had to see her son's Head of Faculty/ Faculty Adviser about changing her son's degree from Business Management to Business Marketing.
Funny thing is that she'd originally suggested he take up Marketing judging from where his interest lay but he wound't hear of it.
One year later, he can now see his mum's point of view and wants to change to Marketing. Mum's suggesting Digital Marketing as we are now in a digital age but wait for it.... he says  NO! He wants to study Business Marketing. What is a mum to do....but to support his decision!!
PM
I ran into another parent and she told me she was sorting secondary school application for her son now in year 6. Her son has ideas about which secondary schools in the borough he wants to attend while his mum wants other schools. 

His decision was based on the fact that he knew a few kids from his primary who were attending his choice of school so he won't be lonely but mum wants a school with proven academic excellence. 
While I understand where her son is coming from, I am with mum on this....a lot of the schools in London are not what it used to be (largely because of government influences).
It brought me back to two years ago when my older son, now in year eight was about to enter secondary school. I took him to Alexandra Park School and Latymers School open days - absolutely impressed with the schools!

          According to Ofsted:
                     1. Alexandra Park - is an outstanding school, students make rapid progress from their starting points, attainment is high and rising and a large number of students progress to the most competitive courses and universities.
                   2. The Latymer School - is excellent, with many outstanding features and provides excellent

value for money. Standards are very high compared with national averages in national tests for Year 9 pupils and in GCSE and A Level results. 


Unfortunately, my son didn't want to go to any of these school, he wanted to go to a completely new school with no academic records  or any records for that matter at the time - 'apart from that it was a new school with an amazing building, new facilities, new head teacher and staff '.
Being a mother hen - wanting the best for her chicks - I was adamant that he would go to one of these school. But, he came back to me with a well thought out, very constructive points as to why he should go to his choice of school. I couldn't ague any of his point...he was simply amazing.

That was when it dawned on me that what I have been teaching my kids - they have actually been absorbing.....there comes a day in your comfortable life when your kids will use your teaching to make you let them do what they want to do, and for me, that day had come. My son cleverly and logically thwarted every point I made for...the schools of my choice. I was simply proud and I immediately let him know too!

In the end, I agreed he could go to his chosen school, on one condition: 'He would work harder than he had ever done to achieve the same results had he attended any of my choice of schools' ............and because:

1. his year six teacher reminded me that kids do very well when they are happy at school and with excellent support at home.
2. I found out that one of the heads of department in the new school was my colleague when I was teaching in a secondary school in Enfield a few years back. I remember her as an excellent - talented - driven teacher with a very high level of subject knowledge and enthusiasm who makes her every lesson challenging and enjoyable for the kids; and I felt that if the teachers in his new school were half as good as her, then my son would be alright.
3.  the school had modern facilities etc which makes for an excellent spring board for children's academic success
4. and finally, as the school is completely new, it would be working very hard to prove itself among the other giants.
   
       So far, my son has continuously been making excellent academic and personal progress within and largely above national level and has been receiving a very broad education through an outstanding range of extracurricular activities and trips; and this is contributing to the great success in his academic performance and overall well being.
I am very proud of him and am also VERY PROUD OF ME - AS A MOTHER! So you see, we are not obsolete. Our guidance, experiences and wealth of knowledge is an amazing endless resource that children and young adults should do well to tap into.
                                                                © O. Okafor
                                                   *****